Ah, confidence. The thing that we’re so sure that everyone else has. And the thing we long for ourselves.

For many of us, confidence is the biggest obstacle holding us back from achieving our goals. But what if there was a way we could build our self-confidence?So the next time self-doubt hits, we’ve got a clear plan to get past it.

Today we’re looking at three different methods you can use to build self-confidence in your life, in as little as 30 minutes each day. Just pick a path and start practising!

Plus, we’ve asked Certified Self-belief Coach Sophie Carefull for her professional advice. Get ready to watch your self-confidence bloom.

How to build self-confidence with your journal

Explore how low confidence shows up for you

Before you can start to build self-confidence, you need to know how low confidence shows up in your life. By journaling the times you experience worry, fear or low self-esteem inside your empty notebook, you’ll start to spot the triggers for those moments of doubt.

 

Certified Self-belief Coach, Sophie Carefull, explains. “When we generalise, we stop ourselves from being able to access the internal resources that would actually help us change the situation.

 

So, instead of labelling yourself as “not confident” (as if it’s your identity), take each area of your life, work and relationships one at a time and make an honest assessment of how confident you feel in each. 

 

Get right down to the specifics of your daily life, thinking about things that you do regularly and without giving them much thought (like driving, cooking, speaking to colleagues at work, for example.) I bet you’ll surprise yourself at how you have more confidence than you thought!”

 

Log your proof of confidence in your journal

As Sophie says, it’s not that you’re not a confident person. It’s that you’re struggling to bring your confidence into certain areas of your life.

 

So, when confidence does show up for you, make sure you really take it in. Write down those kind comments from your peers and make note of the times you succeeded, the times you were scared but still showed up and did the thing.

 

And the next time you feel your confidence wobble, open up your journal. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of doing. And start to love yourself a little bit more.

 

Challenge your limiting beliefs

What’s a limiting belief? We hear you! A limiting belief is simply something that you believe about yourself that restricts you from taking action.

 

Perhaps you believe that you’re not creative. Maybe you believe that you’ll never be organised. Whatever it is, get curious and challenge that belief inside your journal.

 

Where does this belief stem from? Is it logical? Or did someone ignorant once make an unkind comment?

 

Use your journal to re-write the script. Turn negative thoughts into positive affirmations, and start building your self-confidence.

 

Reflect on how far you’ve come

When you’re setting goals, it’s easy to look ahead. But when was the last time you looked back?

 

If you turn around, you might just find that you’ve come rather a long way.

 

When you remind yourself of the path you’ve already travelled, it can become a little bit easier to take that next bold step of action.

 

Retrain your brain

One of the most powerful benefits of a journaling practice is the ability to dive a little deeper. It can be the perfect nudge to look behind the obvious and take some time to reflect on your day.

 

As Sophie explains, “A regular journaling practice to support your confidence-building efforts is a beautiful habit to develop.You may have heard of gratitude journaling, which helps focus your mind on all the good things in your life by writing down what you’re grateful for.

 

Well, you can adapt this practice for confidence by instead making a list of all the things you did that day that you’re proud of. The trick is, you have to write something (aim for three things per day, but don’t stop there if the list is flowing)! 

 

It’s likely to feel uncomfortable at first, and you may well struggle to come up with anything, but by intentionally turning your attention to all the ways you’re doing well, you’ll train your brain to focus on the positives, which in turn bolsters you to keep going in the direction of your dreams and goals.”

Choose your journaling space with confidence in mind

Did you know that your physical space can help you build your self-confidence?

 

If you’re setting your goals in a space that makes you feel nervous, distracted and on edge, it’s unlikely that you’ll find the courage to push your goal-setting limits.

 

But, if you choose a space where you feel at peace and most like your best self, you’ll find yourself in a more confident headspace.

 

Sophie recommends creating those conditions yourself, “...could you take your journal to one of your favourite cafés or parks, and listen to some inspiring music while you write? Maybe there’s a certain scent that helps you feel calm and uplifted, or a colour that boosts your mood when you wear it? Use these preferences to your advantage and set yourself up for a confident goal-setting session.”

How to build self-confidence with your goal-setting practice

Don’t wait to feel confident before you begin

Should your goals scare you? The short answer is yes.

 

Of course, your goals should always be realistic (impossible goals will only break your confidence). But it’s agoodidea to set goals that feel a little challenging.

 

As Sophie explains, it’s unlikely that you’ll feel confident before you begin. That comes later. “It’s important to remember that confidence often follows action, not the other way around. So don’t fall into the trap of waiting to feel more confident before you take the first step, however small, towards the things you want to do in your life. 

 

You’ll gather so many new insights and so much courage along the way that’ll help inform where you go next, so be brave and start before you’re “ready.””

Make sure your goals are right for you

There’s nothing worse than chasing goals that are more suited to somebody else. It’s a bit like going for a run with someone else’s shoes on, things just feel off.

 

When your goals are aligned with your personal values and aspirations, they instantly become easier to achieve. You’re more likely to stay motivated and confident because your goals and your passions are linked.

 

Break your goals down into smaller milestones

Big change rarely happens overnight. If you take one thing away from this, make it that. Because if you’re expecting a momentous overhaul of your confidence in just a few hours, you’re likely to be disappointed.

 

But if you give yourself a little grace, and accept that change happens little by little, step by step, you’ll start to see your confidence grow.

 

Goal setting gives you a direction and purpose to follow. Whilst achieving smaller milestones along the way boosts your confidence, as you start to see exactly what you’re capable of. Slowly but surely, those milestones become a little easier to achieve.

 

So give yourself metrics to track your progress. How many presentations have you successfully delivered, despite your anxiety? Write it down. And then celebrate your progress!

How to build self-confidence with your mindset

Rewrite your story

This has to be one of our favourite tips from Sophie. Just like there’s no one approach to journaling, there’s no one approach to building your self-confidence.

 

Instead, she recommends staying curious and experimenting with a few different methods.

 

“The first step I’d encourage anyone seeking more confidence to take, would be to gently release the story that says “I’m not confident enough.” If this is a belief or narrative you’re playing on repeat in your mind, it’s going to make it difficult for you to build your self-confidence.”

 

Change your view of challenges

When your self-confidence is low, you’ll likely see challenges as obstacles. Instead of something to move past, they feel like a blocker restricting your path.

 

But what if that challenge was actually just an opportunity for growth?

 

Embracing your challenges can help you develop resilience which, in time, builds your confidence in your ability to overcome them.

 

Be open to growth

If you struggle with self-confidence, constructive criticism can be one of the hardest things to accept. 

 

However, embracing feedback can help you identify areas for improvement. Which then helps you grow your self-confidence, as you know that you’re continuously learning and growing your skills.

 

Try to seek feedback from trusted friends and colleagues who will be honest yet kind. And then turn that feedback into practical goals, to achieve step by step.

  

Remember, building self-confidence is an ever-evolving process. Progress isn’t linear and you’ll likely experience hiccups and hurdles along the way. But, the more you practice your confidence, the easier it will get.